How to Choose a Caregiver after a Spinal Cord Injury! Choosing the right caregiver is one of the most important decisions we are faced with following a spinal cord injury. Choosing the right caregiver can make all the difference in the world to your recovery and quest for independence.
Family generally does not make the best caregivers, except for in the very beginning or for short periods of time for filling in when a regular caregiver is not available. From my experience as a person living with a spinal cord injury I would have quite a few concerns having my immediate family do my personal care. There are just some things that just wouldn’t feel right having my mother or anyone in my family do for me. Bowel and bladder care would be at the top of that list followed by showering and dressing.
We tend to hurt the ones we love, which is what we end up doing to our family when they become our caregivers. In the beginning of recovery our feelings and emotions run high and low from one minute to the next, and we get depressed real easy. I was very angry and mean in the beginning because I could not channel that negative energy into something physical, so I said a lot of mean and hurtful things. Unfortunately it is very easy to put this at the feet of our mother or anyone in the family, and unfortunately we can be very selfish during our recovery. Put yourself in their shoes, and think about what they will go through and how they will feel. I can’t imagine what was going on in my mother’s head when she was told her son broke his neck, and would require care for the rest of his life, but to add more grief to her by making her do my personal care day after day just doesn’t seem fair.
Another frequent choice for a caregiver is your spouse. This one I have mixed feelings about, being that for the first three years after my accident my wife was my caregiver. The problem here again is the caregiver ends up doing more for the patient then they actually need, they feel sorry and try to do everything possible to make life better. Unfortunately it doesn’t make life better it actually slows down our learning and recovery, because we need to do the things that we can do and learn to do the things we can’t. The only way for us to live again is to take control of our own lives. Of course there are things we are not able to do, but most things we can adapt to (I can clean my house from top to bottom, do laundry and even take the garbage out). So these things can be done, but when you have someone holding your hand doing everything you cannot progress and move forward.
Independent living is an organization that provides services for the disabled people in the community. They provide personal care attendants and other services, and the best thing about them is that you can find your own attendants even if they do not work for Independent living. Once you find a person you want as an attendant they fill out paperwork and then are employed through independent living, but they are actually working for you. This is probably the best way to hire care attendants, but always make sure you have at least one attendant for a backup so you can call when you get in a jam. There are also agencies to provide personal care attendants as well, but if Independent living is an option that is your best bet.
How to Choose a Caregiver after a Spinal Cord Injury! I really feel you should not use family as your long-term caregivers, however in the beginning they do provide a lot of support, love, and compassion which is needed after an injury. This is where independent living can help you find the right caregiver; they also have many other services that are very beneficial. After six months you should look into independent living and start to transition into using other caregivers, it’s all about taking control of your care, and in the big picture your life!
Michael C.